Beauty and The Beast
by oaksoup
Summary: What can you do when you want to make your outings spicier? Its not that they weren't already strange when you are a Matsuno. Christmas fanfic, I hope you had a nice Xmas too.


The Matsuno familiy parents went to their own dates all December 24's sometimes as friends and sometimes as lovers, which left the brothers alone and free to do whatever they wanted. 11 PM and the rest of the night for them was undeniable Totoko time that no one wanted to lose, and at zero hours they exchanged gifts and fought each other until sleep took them down for more Totoko time. Some years they exchanged gifts very early so they could cut the charade of wanting to be all together, but from nine to ten they weren't even on the house. Everyone took separate paths doing their own rituals for that dreaded only-sweethearts day.

Todomatsu and Jyushimatsu had a tacit agreement. Every year they took the other to a place of their liking, as they were the ones who got along the most. Of course Jyushi led him to baseball _every fucking year_ , not to watch matches or even to the machines, but to _training_ and that left Todomatsu unable to even stand for at least two days, which left him with pretty toned arms and fresh for New Year, and Totty mostly showed him places he might like. Big toy stores, the usual yakyuu implements one, and most recently the Starbucks he worked on because he will never forget that day but the fact that Jyushimatsu was the only one who didn't egg that much on him deserved some sweet treats.

There was a day in which the three older brothers found Ichimatsu on the street dangling his dreaded bag, Karamatsu's feet still remember all the kilometers he ran that night and the living nightmare of being _not safe enough_ , _**never safe enough**_. The others don't talk about it anymore.

No one really thought about it nor cared too much, but Choromatsu was more of a wild card. It all depended on the money he had that was actually never much counting that December was practically Spend-it-ALL month, or if they interfered with his Totoko-chan time, his only sweetheart who he would woo before his idiot brothers for sure.

Karamatsu went on his eternal chase for girls that always ended as we already know, short on money and possibly some organs. He cared never, believing that destiny would congratulate his patience with the gift he always wanted.

And Osomatsu…

He decided that he had to do something new this year.

So Todomatsu and Choromatsu found themselves unable to enter the bathroom because a certain someone had been using it for at least an entire hour

"Osomatsu-niisan! How much of a slowpoke can you be? I still need to file my hands and Jyushimatsu-nii is waiting for me!" From outside the bathroom it sounded like an entire construction site was there and Todomatsu was one of the less patient brothers on the family. But an hour later of trying to open an unmovable door left him in the floor knocking sparsely and mostly complaining loudly, if he even could listen to him.

Flipping idly his Newtype, Choromatsu thought that he would have been even angrier than Totty if his plans for that year weren't busted. Nyaa-chan announced that she was gone on a long voyage, which clearly meant Mr. Flag Love Cruise again. His idol-fan fellows were as much depressed as him he supposed and no one was able to go out that day. No time to be able to use his new Nyaa-eared hat – and even less near Totoko-chan, so he had nothing to do until that hour. He flicked his nose, annoyed. He could say he would be angrier if he were in younger bro situation but he could also lose his marbles easily too, and damn Todomatsu liked to whine when given the opportunity.

A FUCKING HOUR OF WHINING and FAKE TEARS.

So he stood up the pink hand-y chair and left the magazine on the floor, walked to the bathroom door with all the intentions to throw it open no matter what happened later, only to get the door thrown at him from inside with a badly done _Lightning Kick_.

He flew with the door over him, unable to see.

BAM!

FINAL K.O, his HP dropped to zero too fast. Todomatsu snickered. Asshole.

"Stop the shouting, I'm done Totty!" Behind the door Choromatsu could hear the ironic flair on his big brother's sing-song voice, and Todomatsu's snickers grew to laughs. "Hahhahaa, are you alright Choromatsu-niisan? Here, let me- heave ho!" Before he could recover himself, the door flew to his right. Damn his little brother strength, he certainly didn't look like a strong dude.

He tried sitting up, and looked in front of him. Osomatsu was dressed on a red cocktail dress and long boots that still showed his – probably bleached – long legs. A velvet coat covered his arms and gave him a more feminine appearance, and Choromatsu sweared that his long silver and simple necklace was not his mothers. Did he bought it for himself!? Did he bought ALL THAT for himself!? For this moment or maybe…!? Maybe that question he didn't want to know the answer.

He looked a bit alien and really stunning – of course until he saw his face. Now he understood why Todomatsu was laughing so much.

A tousled wig, chapped lips and the wrong red hue of lipstick. Too thick eyeliner, and other mismatches on his face. A complete mess, so much like him when he wasn't able to not be lazy at all.

His painted smile and finger rubbing his nose –and lipstick!- gave that he didn't gave a fuck about it, that's for sure. But still – "Osomatsu-niisan! Why are you dressed like that!?" – it was his job to be the thinking head of that lunatic house.

"Huh? Its time to go out to play of course!" he did a cute pose with a rotating movement with his hand, which made Todomatsu laugh even more. He was glad he hadn't got up from the floor because he was sure laughing like that would have made him fall again.

"Nii-san! Do you believe that the old men from the pachinko arcades will not know its you even dressed like that? They know you too well for that you know." Choromatsu pressed a hand in his forehead and retired it immediately; the goddamn door left him with a nice hematoma there. He was starting to get a headache to even think about it. He stood up. "… You know." – he said, dusting a bit his jeans – "I listened you some days ago saying you had to do something special for this Christmas Eve but what makes this special? Its just pachinko crossdressing."

"Boo, way to be boring Choromatsu! You can't understand a fair maiden heart, little Cherry" – he pouted, making a heart figure with his hands over his heart.

One of this days he will make him explode, he was sure.

Todomatsu did a cute pout too. "Old wench you mean, if that's what you tried to show with that shoddy work. Choromatsu you should help him a bit."

Impressive snark by Totty. Not. "What are you trying to tell me with that." – he deadpanned.

"Hadn't you gotta make some nail art or some shit like that, Totty?" – Osomatsu threw that phrase in the same tone than his brother.

"Aaah! Jyushimatsu-niisan is still waiting for me!" He jumped up from the floor with grace and took the door with him to the bath. Seriously Jyushimatsu strength rubbed out on him, they knew it was a cartoon but it was notorious that Totty was The Hulk of their household. "NIISAN WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO THE BATHROOM! I HOPE MY THINGS ARE PERFECTLY INTACT OR **YOU WILL PAY**!"

"You haven't-" and of course he didn't get to finish his sentence - "I don't wanna know! I got my things in this new bag you see so let's get outta here!" – Osomatsu took him by the arm with his one wearing a new black handbag (how the fuck/why the fuck would he have that!?) and began to sprint to their room.

"Why do I always end up in your problems Osomatsu-niisan, you even threw up the bathroom door to me!" Osomatsu looked at him and smiled, he truly looked ridiculous with his lipstick smeared. "You know why, this thing about being alike in our own brother sea? I'll leave it like that, I don't wanna sound as Karamatsu."

They got to their room, and Osomatsu took from his handbag a mirror and a cosmetic bag, scattering himself on their sofa. Choromatsu looked at him move up comically his face from the door and tried not to laugh at the faces he did to the mirror. He sat at his side and could've sweared that his big brother had a little twinkle on his face only for him, as it faced his direction. Not that he could say it was true; they weren't as tight now as they were before. But he liked to have that thought for at least some seconds.

Just little, little seconds until they came back to reality. Osomatsu waved him out of his thoughts with a question he didn't listened that well.

"Uh, what? Sorry, I was a bit distracted."

"I said I was thinking that Totty was right, maybe I should ask you for help with this shit. Totoko-chan always gives me instructions for make-up and all the foundations but I'm too bad at this."

Choromatsu frowned. "And what made you both think I can be of help with that? I got nothing to do with-"

"Of course you know what we are talking about _Cherrymatsu-chan_!" – now his smirk became mocking, and Choromatsu got an instant vision of when he was _playing_ with his Nyaa cosplay and wig in his private time, and a suspicious light that came from nowhere nor he cared in the moment. He _remembered_.

"W-Wh—" – he tried to articulate, to be again stopped easily by his brother. "Don't try to say anything to me, the one with the camera is Todomatsu and you know that!"

"… Do the others know?"

"The only one who has copies is me of course, I just _happened_ to be behind him when he took those photos yanno. They don't need to know about your little fetishes, I don't wanna lose this opportunity!"

"… That little snake, I'll deal with him later." – his face turned murderous, and Osomatsu only smirked harder. It was as if he missed that face. He probably did.

"But you must deal with me fiiirst, and I'm making it cheap this time, just because it's almost Christmas! You looked almost like Reika-chan – *Nyaa-chan you dumbass!* - … whatever, you looked like girl all painted like that! Can ya do that to me?"

"… And what would you do if someone tried to do… something to you when dressed out like that? Its already dark outside."

And there Osomatsu, acting all coy and smiling sweetly took both his brother's face cheeks with his hands and kissed Choromatsu roughly, tongue on his lips making him redder for every lick and graze against him. He ended the kiss dumbfounded.

"I told you this year's Christmas Eve was special. This is a gift for you for being so worried for the dumb old me. I also got a gift for the people who want to play with me too." He winked, doing his best idol imitation. It was terrible and endearing.

And he got up, opened up the zipper of his coat and retrieved from some kinda magic pocket a fucking crowbar.

That already had little brown speckles on it.

So that was the special part.

He took Ichimatsu's advice _that certain night_ on his own way and decided to make a Red Christmas with the people he felt he had to give a gift.

… Man this house was crazy.

And crazier was him to not say anything and just- just take him from the shoulders and kiss him again. Maybe that would give him some sense.

Both had none, but ended up sitting up again on the couch.

"… Now what happened to YOU Cherrymatsu?"

"Just helping you to get out that lipstick out your face"

And like that, in between snickers and stupid manzai jokes, Choromatsu helped his bro to make him look as prettier as possible. He even used some of his own make-up, and brushed his long brown wig. He even took a photo for himself as he ended up so nicely he was ashamed to be like that so little time on the streets.

And when he finished it WAS a bit late, so even though no one supposedly was on the house – New Osomatsu could ALWAYS be there, that man was a mystery on his own – Choromatsu left him outside the house, to then see him go, happily walking as a bum and completely not like a lady.

What an idiot. What idiots they were.

"I can't leave him alone right now"

Christmas was for pairings in Japan, and not for being alone.

"It will be for a little while"

And he ran to follow his brother, the unmoveable force of nature that was his lazyass of a brother. But his at the end, and it was maybe all the promotional ads for pairings that day or the sexy figure that the red outfit gave Osomatsu but – it was true.

He was more of a wild card, and that night was special.

"Only for a while."

"Haha, you wish Cherrymatsu!" – and he gave him a bat.

How the fuck did it there.

Later, LATER he found that Totty not only had photos of that day, but also from the makeup _incident_. And if he ended up crying because his cellphone was sent to the stars with a fucking bomb no one was surprised. Things were always hectic on that house.


End file.
